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I finally get down to writing this. I wanted for everything to settle in before I wrote anything.

It is a given that the concert was nothing but phenomenal. There have been too many fan accounts of it and the other stops for that. It was simply one of the (very) few most amazing experiences of my life (so far). How to go about writing it though? I don't know how the others did it, but I shall try. I suppose as with all experiences--the beginning.

At the beginning, I wasn't even planning to go, though I had every desire to. I am a senior international university student in Tennessee with a double major, summer classes to pay, fall semester to save up for, a $20,000 instrument to save up for, and all the work and pressure that comes with all that. I reasoned that I had no business going to see JYJ up in New Jersey when I could be saving that money. But it seems I was wrong, and I was about to go for a wild ride and explore parts of me that I didn't know existed. 

I took a chance and watched a fancam of "In Heaven", and felt that tug that I'm sure everyone must have felt when they heard that song for the first time. I had goosebumps and shivers. I couldn't believe something so good could have been composed by them...but then I thought, "This is JYJ! Have you been so used to the mediocre offerings that have come out of K-land and everywhere else that you're so surprised that they could do this?" That led me to read the fan accounts that I had previously did not want to read for fear of deciding to go to Newark on impulse. They were all so gripping (even with the rushed and poor grammar some had ^^) that I just had no choice but to look for an affordable plane ticket and buy the event ticket from Ticketmaster. Of course I got the cheapest ticket I could, and the accounts that I read were not the sole reason I took the big step. It was more a desire to see and experience for myself these three men who had taken up a big part of my life for 5 years. So I took the chance and stretched my budget as far as it could go. Even then I kept vacillating--switching back and forth--every day from being giddy with excitement at going and almost depressed with guilt for doing what I did. That is, up until I arrived at the Newark airport and met the two friends that I had made on the JYJ New Jersey Facebook group. We had agreed to shoulder the cost of the hotel room together along with some others, but the others could not come because of a death. It was now just the three of us. I could go into detail about what we did before the concert and the adventures we had (what with finding a bus stop, a place to eat, navigating through Newark, meeting other fans at Military Park, forgetting tickets, and waiting at the "lobby" for the doors to open), but I'm sure you want to get to the whole point of this account.

I went through the ticket-checking(?) process with my friends, rode the escalators (which were amazing!) while looking on in awe at the amount of people waiting in line outside. There were so many that had red shirts or red clothing on (I kind of felt strange wearing a bit of blue like a lost E.L.F. ^^) carrying their light sticks. Then it hit me. If there are that many here and more coming, then there are thousands upon thousands around the world, and I couldn't begin to imagine what concerts in the JYJ strongholds of Japan, Korea, and China were like. Sure, I saw the pictures and videos, but you never really grasp it until you experience it for yourself. 
Enough of that introspectiveness. Let's get on with it. Let me just say that Prudential Center is definitely one of the best (and biggest) concert venues I have ever been to. It rivals even Avery Fisher Hall in Lincoln Center and the Renaissance-inspired Tivoli Theater where I perform often with my orchestra. Really clean, sophisticated, and everything you could want in a concert venue. It is truly state-of-the-art. Even the prices for food and drinks! Ridiculous. 

I said goodbye to my friend and watched her go to her floor seat. I sighed a little. I wanted a floor seat too and be near enough to see JYJ without having the "aid" of a screen. I told myself, "Someday," and went to hunt for my seat. When I found it (the ushers and security guards were really helpful and friendly), I was surprised at how good a view I had and how comfortable the seats where. Such squishy leather seats! I looked around me in awe. The venue is amazing. Amazingly huge. Fitting for our JYJ, though I felt that it was a little too big. I thought, "This is Newark, NJ not Tokyo, Saitama, or Seoul..." I got a little ball of worry in my gut. Then another girl sat on the row above me and I smiled at her. I wished we were seated nearer. She seemed nice. I told myself I was being silly, "Of course she's nice if she's here!" I took one of my light sticks from my bag and tried to turn it on, but somehow it wouldn't. I shyly asked the girl above me to help. I figured maybe she has more experience in these things. She fussed with it a bit and finally got it to come on. I thanked her and continued to play with it while watching the "Be My Girl" dance video on the screens.

 I heard a call on my left and a security guard asked me, "Is that supposed to be a candle?" He pointed at my light stick.

"No, it's supposed to be a light stick." I replied, smiling. 

He looked kind of bewildered. I think he wanted to ask why everyone had some kind of these things. Then he asked, "So how is this group?"

I frowned. Confused. "What do you mean by 'how' ?"

"You know are they heavy or mellow or...?"

I laughed. "Oh you mean...? They do all kinds of music. They do rough and fast and ballads and R&B, Rock, just about everything. A capella even."

He still looked confused. I laughed again. "You'll see later."

The girl above me chimed in, "They can do all kinds of genres...just everything." (Not exactly sure that's what she said, but something like that. I'm sure she forgot already too, eh, C.? ^^)

Then some other staff came along and talked to him. Something about access to bathrooms and organization. The guard turned to me again and asked, "So are they gonna sing in English? Because I heard them practicing earlier and they were singing in--" 

I nodded. "Korean. They're going to sing English and Korean songs, and I wish they were singing their Japanese songs too."

The guard raised his eyebrows. I just smiled at him. I thought, "He'll see later." 

"I'm kind of surprised at the poor turnout though." He continued.

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. "Poor turnout?" By that time the front and side sections were full and most of the floor as well. Sure the opposite middle sections and my sections were sprinkled some, but hey...it wasn't even 8:00 PM yet! And besides, this is the US! They haven't promoted heavily here or even promoted that much for the concerts (I felt anyway). I kept imagining how this would be if it were in Tokyo or Seoul. 

The other guards talked about how to fill the seats and stuff like that. I talked with my new friend C. on the other row. We had a lot of fun before the concert started. There was this one Caucasian boy that sat on the row above her. We looked at each other and smiled. It turned out that he was here with his sister who was on the floor section. C. started talking about getting cotton candy when she spied the cotton candy man walking around. I laughed at her. Seriously? Eating cotton candy in a concert where you're sure you're going to scream your head off? But I asked for some in advance and we took bets on how much it was going to cost. She said $3 and I said $4. The room lights started dimming and we decided to move to the next section which was half full and found ourselves in the middle of ahjummas and couples and some kids and a corner of crazy fangirls.

C. got her cotton candy and said, "You were right. $4. $4.50 actually." 

I laughed and did a small jump. I was so excited for this. I took a pinch of cotton candy and moaned at how good it was. "This is almost worth the money!" I told C.

C. giggled. "I know! It's the good kind!"

"This is SO not going to help me later!" I squirmed some more. It seemed that the lights were turning off in slow motion. I noticed that the Caucasian boy had moved to the row below us. I smiled to myself. "I hope he knows what he's in for."

Then the intro video finally started. I was startled by how loud it was, and it took a while to finally get used to it. Oh...up around the time the guys came on stage. I totally forgot about the loudness at that point. But with the screams, it needs to be that super loud. During the video, I sneaked a look around me now and again. And again I got shivers down my back of the good kind. From 2006, I had seen the Red Ocean and had alternately laughed at it at first and then sat on my desk chair in awe at the showcases and concerts. It doesn't even matter what color it is, because even with the mix of blue, red, and white in Japan, I was still awed by the sight. Now, though, I was a part of it. I held my own red light stick and had an extra one in my bag. I don't know why it's such a big deal for me--for us. The light sticks. But the air was charged with expectation, love, and happiness. I couldn't resist putting aside my "stuffiness" and "shyness" and what have you and simply just started jumping and pumping my light stick in the air when "Empty" started and I saw Jaejoong, Yoochun, and Junsu.

Those three. The phrase, "No words can describe them" has gotten really old, especially in our (long- or short-time fans, but especially long-time fans) circles. But that phrase is just the only way to describe them. 

Imagine me describing them in the above blank section. No, really! But I feel that space is too little, don't you? 
Getting back...when they rose into the stage from below, they seemed larger than life. They're really tall. Pictures or videos don't do them justice. Yes, another worn saying. They completely dominated the stage. They really don't need dancers at all. I wouldn't even care if they had dancers or not, though I do love their dance crew in Japan. It's another one of those familiarity breeds fondness things. 

For me though, their looks have always been a big, BIG bonus. Because it was their music that drew me to them in the first place. You really, REALLY have to be listen to them live to REALLY appreciate them and their music and the energy that they bring into a performance. Their voices are really crisp, clear-cut, yet buttery, velvety smooth at the same time. Their phrasings are perfectly timed. Not a disturbing gasp of breath anywhere. So hard to describe. It doesn't help that all three of them have the most beautiful, unique voices as well. Perhaps I'm over doing it because of my bias for them, but I've heard some beautiful voices in my life (especially since one of my majors is music performance), but none have equaled these three in moving me. Perhaps it's a combination of all their voices. I myself don't know. They're just different.

Critics who criticize and nitpick at their music (especially the tracks in Their Rooms and The Beginning) without hearing or seeing them live don't have the right to do so. I say that because I did that, and I wish I could take back my words. They really are that good!

I forget the order of the songs after "Empty". It really is funny that the songs I remember in order is that "Empty" is in the beginning, "Chajatta (Found You)" is somewhere in the middle, and "In Heaven" is last (Grr. Now I have the urge to put fancams of that in repeat again. I really do need that album out soon!). They alternate their English and Korean songs. In the North American concerts at least. I don't know about the others. I remember after "Empty" was a Korean song. Which one? I wish I could rewind and get back to you. I really wish I could! Then it was another English song. I think after three songs they greeted the audience in English. I found Jaejoong and Junsu's English really good. I don't know why they're so shy of it. Poor Yoochun. After that they sang another uptempo song. I wish I knew which one! Then they went backstage and a video came on of the guys on a photoshoot. I could tell it was during "The Beginning" times. They looked magnificent in it. I especially loved Jae and his katana! It also made me miss Junsu's red hair. I admit I was shocked when he dyed it that red, but he looked really good in it. The same with Yoochun's longish hair. 

The guys came on stage again with different costumes. I think they did "Be My Girl" but I'm not too sure. I think my memory loss is due to the amount of jumping and "dancing" in place I did. Oh, and my arms were about to fall off, but I didn't care. I was going to show them I loved every minute! I didn't stop waving my light stick until I needed to replace it and until the concert ended.

Their solos came next I think. Wow. The grinding and the undulating. I blush and laugh to think about it. Clearly the guys enjoyed it. Of course "innocent" Junsu had his lone, angelic dancer on stage. I almost laughed out loud when I thought that. And then I glanced down and saw the popcorn and drinks man dancing to Junsu's "I Can Soar" and nudged (more like grabbed) C.'s arm and pointed at him.  We laughed and continued waving to the beat. I thought, "Now that's just the icing on the already epic cake!"

Every one of the guys' solos was [insert admiring adjective here]. They're really SO good. If you haven't heard them live, you do NEED to! I don't' know when I can go listen to them live again, but I definitely don't regret going, and if I had the means I would go to both the LA and San Jose concerts!

There was another break after the solos. I think this was where the dancers showed their stuff. I especially loved the male dancers. Not because of how the girls danced with Jaejoong and Yoochun, but because the male dancers are really, really good in their own right. Though I saw that admiring look they gave Junsu when he did his freestyle and handstand and then immediate long ad lib in the "Empty Remix" part...but I'm getting ahead of myself. 

After the break, I think it was "Mission". It was electric! I still can't believe the guys composed it! I love that song even more! There was a great dance sequence for the opening. Lots of percussion and drums and there were even drums on stage! The four dancers drummed on them some. It was great! Many, many kudos to Directors Kim Jaejoong and Jeri Slaughter. Then the guys popped on stage (I really forget where they came from) and the song started in earnest and the dancing and...I lost it. I feel sorry for the ahjummas near me. I hope they weren't too bothered since almost all of the audience was in the same state. The guys didn't have hand mics for "Mission" since it's such a dance-centric song, but they still sounded incredible. They didn't do the ad lib parts though. Eh, it only bothered me just a little. It was just so good! And now I feel like I'm overdoing that sentence!

After "Mission", I think they sang some of their ballads. I definitely remember "Boy's Letter" (Is that the right title? You know, one of the new songs that I can't wait to get my hands on...), the animation was so cute and their voices were especially smooth in it. You could really feel their emotions in every note. 
I need to make a special mention of "Get Out". Man, that song is something. Another I-can't-believe-they-wrote-this! song. I love the chorus and the choreography. Many thanks to Mr. Egg for uploading that video of Junsu practicing it too [see here]. 

You can tell how spotty my memory is, can you? I really wish I could remember more and that it won't fade with time. I really wish I could do it over again. 

"Chajatta (Found You)" is another song that needs a special mention. The already charged air shifted when the intro came on. It was like another gear. A special gear. Perhaps it originated from the audience or the guys, I don't know. All I know is that I was so happy. For some reason I knew all the right words and when to chant them even though I didn't participate in the fan chants at Military Park or at the lobby. Perhaps it just takes listening to the song and appreciating what it says and represents? But it was indeed a special time in the concert. Even more special than the last song. You could really tell that the guys loved the atmosphere and the chant attempt. They had really big smiles, and I smiled right back even if they couldn't see me. 

There was a long break after "Nine" or "Fallen Leaves" or one of the slower songs. I wonder if they meant to do that, because I definitely panicked. The room was filled with cries of "JYJ! JYJ!" and restlessness. My heart was in my mouth. And then the stage lights came back on and they performed the remixes and I was back to jumping again. By that time I could feel  how tired my legs and feet were and my arms too. I hardly sat down through it all. Chairs are unnecessary at a JYJ concert. Well, that is...for young people at least. I'm sure JYJ's noona and hyung fans appreciate the chairs..the kids that came too. I felt that they should have been left at home though, with the scantily clothed dancers and all, but it's nice that they got exposed to magnificent music. Though I feel sorry for their young ears with the loudness.

After that section of songs, the guys said goodbye again! Without singing "In Heaven"! And it really looked like that was it! I sat down on my chair's arm rest hard. I couldn't believe they would end it without that song. Everyone was still yelling, "JYJ! JYJ! JYJ!" I stood up and yelled along with them. I looked towards the sound booth and saw that they were talking on the radio. Then the room lights started to come on in slow motion again and I wanted to shout, "NO! I want 'In Heaven'!"

Then pink stage lights came on, and the guys walked slowly to the front. The intro to "In Heaven" began. I could feel the prickle of tears of joy. I don't remember if Yoochun said something before it. All I remember is that I nudged C. and said, "This is my favorite song of all!" I'm sure she was laughing at me or something because I had already said that for several songs already. I couldn't resist singing along, even though my grasp of the song was spotty. I'm sorry to the ahjumma next to me for any weird pronunciations or just being plain annoying when you wanted to listen to them instead of me. I used to be so annoyed of fans singing along in fancams, but I can't blame them now. To be there and experience all that, you can't help but sing along. It's almost instinctual. I'm usually very introverted--very quiet and reclusive. It takes a lot to even wring a conversation out of me, but I clearly was not myself that night.

"In Heaven" felt like the overflow of all their creativity and talent. For me, it's like a mix of the past six years. Every note and phrase reminds me a moment in the guys' history. Each event that brought them to where they are now. The good as well as the bad. The elation and the heartbreak. When the song climaxes and they sing that a capella part...it feels like something washes over you and you feel like you want to pause and stay in that moment. Again--it's really hard to describe. 

After the song ended, the guys all said a very heartfelt thank you. Yoochun made Junsu say something. But of course he would say it in Korean. I wish he wouldn't be so nervous of his English. It's really not bad. They held hands as tightly as they could with microphones in hand and bowed. Junsu said, "Arigatou gozaimasu!" and "Xie xie!" and Jaejoong said, "Kamsahmnida" repeatedly. They all waved as they exited the stage. I saw Yoochun mess with the camera. And they were gone. 

The lights came on in slow motion again. I felt happiness course through my veins. Perhaps that's a tad bit too much or I'm making too much of three men and their music. But for me, it was definitely that phenomenal and deserves such words. My arms and legs felt like jelly and I had trouble orienting myself to the not-loudness and sudden stillness of the air around me. I glanced at C. She was giddy too. We grinned at each other and chatted about the goodness of it all as we made our way up the stairs. She met two of her friends in the hallway that she didn't know were coming and they didn't know she was coming as well. I said goodbye to her and waiting for my room-mates around the escalators. I met with the fans from Puerto Rico and shared our experiences. When my friends arrived, there was a wave of screams that started from somewhere. I got butterflies in my stomach, thinking that the guys might make an appearance. But then the logic that had stayed away for two hours came back and told me that they wouldn't dare with all these crazy people. So I just continued grinning and stayed and talked until the staff told us that the building was closed and we had to get out. We took pictures outside, and walked around four blocks to find a taxi as the buses weren't running. It was one hour until midnight, and I would have done anything to rewind what I had just experienced in those two short hours.

I wish I could tell Director Kim Jaejoong what a fine job he's doing for a first-time director. I especially like the simple class of their costumes. The stage lights also need special mention. We didn't have the laser shows that the Asian stops did, but you can see from the pictures how great the stage lighting is. I know Jeri Slaughter is directing the North American concerts, but you can feel Jaejoong's hand in things. 

I know some were disturbed by how provocative the female dancers were. Believe me I know. I'm such a conservative and have been sheltered most of my life, but for me, it's not such a big deal. Why? I get almost all of my thrills from their music and their singing performance not how they look or what they do on stage. Though the slick dancing is definitely a plus. Still, it is their MUSIC that is most important for me. Everything else is low on the priority list.

If there was one gripe I had with the concert, it is because they could not perform their Japanese songs. I especially enjoy "Get Ready", "Long Way", and "W". ALL their Japanese songs. A storm of expletives on AVEX for that! They have no right! To think I used to love that company. JYJ worked so hard in recording those songs [
see here]!  Artists should have the rights to the songs they bring to life not the companies. Such shameful dealings. I can only wish the charity concert on June 7 will have all the success it deserves. For JYJ's sake, yes, but most of all for Japan's sake, because they still need all the help they can get.

I didn't mention Jung Yunho and Shim Changmin for a reason, though I did think of them now and again throughout the concert. I stand with DNBN on this [
see here]. I hope they are content with their choice. I am still fond of them, but it feels really bitter. It seems that the spirit that Dong Bang Shin Ki/Tohoshinki had did not continue with them, but was carried on by JYJ instead. As I told my new friends in our talks, I feel that JYJ is a better name. Not that I don't cherish the DBSK/THSK name. How could I not after all those years? But the name "JYJ" is much simpler and makes one want to discover what makes them so great. I also don't have to explain to my friends what the name means and blush at their raised eyebrows. It is less superfluous than "The rising gods of the east". These three don't need all that. They can be themselves and use their own names and still be great. After the whole painful fiasco two years ago (has it really been that long?), I dropped out of existence and neglected their music. Still, I could not ignore such goodness completely. I watched a video here and there, listened to their music sometimes when I felt that ache. Then JYJ released their music essay, and I understood the lyrics and what they were trying to say. I accepted that and moved on, helped by the effort and passion that shone through the songs they composed.

I have no regrets in going at all even though my budget is really tight now. As a fellow music performer (though in a different genre and medium), I learned a lot from that concert. I saw how each of the guys reached out to their audience in every song, how hard they worked, how their passion shone through. I saw the love they had for their work and for the people that continue to support them that they might continue doing that work. Surely with spirits such as these, corruption in higher places, corporate red tape, and all the blocking in the world won't stop them. This is their life. They are a part (large or small) in ours. Together we can do anything. That is, only if we are united and not stoop to the petty things that other fandoms do (pairings, biases, orientations, OTs, and such). JYJ has matured so much in two years. We must do the same, for we support a greater cause. We could very well be supporting the very best of what the previous generation of K-music produced for all the mediocrity that is present in these days. JYJ could very well be the lifeblood that is missing, because it is apparent that Kpop needs something fresh. It simply needs to admit that. But I digress, frustrations aside, it was a concert to be remembered. I, too, have seen many top-tier concerts of all genres, but the JYJ World Tour Concert 2011 in Newark, New Jersey was altogether a different thing. There was more of everything. And that is something that all music industries should support no matter what country or language or part of the world that music comes from. I hope the people that experienced JYJ for the first time that night felt that. For Music--especially the brand of music JYJ has--is the language of the soul.

And here I stop and apologize for the length of this account. I'll repeat my excuse for my behavior during the concert: I simply can't help it. ^^v


The Bias Route

Haven't had time to sit down and write that account/log. Whatever.
Just too much work today.

But, I have time to map out my JYJ bias route for today. People who know me will remember that I have no biases in JYJ or DBSK. And it has stayed that way since '06 or '07. They just take turns every day. But today is weird. 

It started with Yoochun in the morning, Jaejoong in the afternoon, and now it's evening and it's Junsu's turn.
What in the world...?

Oh well, I'm just gonna pin it on the concert aftermath. I'm still in my happy place! 


Update? JYJ Fan Account incoming!

Yes, I went to a JYJ concert! It was phenomenal! And I was not myself! :D

Also, no, I did not graduate. But, yes, I will!
Decided to take on another major and have more violin lessons (as advised by professors).
So, I'm staying another year! Which fortunate because I sure could learn more. And even more fortunate, because I get to go to a JYJ concert (which would not have happened if I was back home!) and see all the summer movies as well as work hard on a job.

I am still in my happy place after that concert.
Post that account after lunch maybe?

What I've been up to lately

So I'm supposed to be reading Chapter 8 of Database Modeling, but I got this urge to blog...so here I am. I was going to blog in Tumblr, but it's not working right. I wonder why. The pages look all funny. Well, just mine really. I really wonder why. It's so annoying. Just when I want to blog it's not working right. But I will post something there right when I'm done here.

Anyway, what have I been up to lately...

Well, this week since we had Thanksgiving break all week (which means no school)--nothing. Ha. Not really. That is if you count finishing Dr. Champ, Dong Yi (not really finished...just "finished' in my book, it's so bloody long...and I think I've got the story already), SunKyunKwan Scandal, Tamra The Island, and rewatching You're Beautiful. Yeah, not really nothing. But nothing productive, yeah? ^^ (Those are all Korean dramas, if you didn't know)

SunKyunKwan Scandal really got me into the whole saeguk (historical drama) genre. Suddenly, I want to watch them. It's amusing. Now and again, in the middle of one, I get bored of it and go watch a modern one, but I always go back to them. I wonder why.

So besides dramas, I've been sleeping late and getting up late, eating when I choose, and not practicing...except for tonight. Fun. Yep. No, really! I only practiced tonight, and I won't have a violin lesson tomorrow since my teacher's baby is sick. But I got to get the Bach Partita #2 in D Minor, Gigue perfected (as much as I can) and memorized for my jury two weeks from now. Jesu juva indeed. 

I just did my Junior Recital (in my senior year no less. ah, can't be helped. it's all their fault anyway) two weeks ago. Now I have to do a jury too. I did have a choice..-ish. My teacher said I would probably hate her for it. Haha. Yeah. I know she just wants me to keep working. I do have a Senior Recital in April. Yep. I'm crazy. That's what she said too. But I don't really have a choice, that is if I want to graduate in May. I mean I could prolong my college life, but I kind of want to get it done with in four years. No big reason not to really. To stay in the States longer? Haha. Right. 

But I dunno...

I've been kind of wondering what would have happened if I didn't come here for college and stayed home instead. But...ah, that is the problem. Where is home? Cambodia? Philippines? I don't even know anymore. And again I cry, "Jesu juva!" 

Ah, enough questioning. I'm here now. Concentrate on the now. Do my best with what I've got. And what happens after graduation--God only knows. Argh. Hehe. Which reminds me of something I've been neglecting.

So--what I've been up to lately...

I started this year 2010 kind of apathetically. I just wanted to finish the Spring semester and get it over with. I wanted good grades of course, since I kind of really want that gold stole around my neck come May 2011 ^^. So I worked my butt off and ended up with a passable 3. something GPA (don't really remember the number after the point).  Which enabled me to be in the Honor Hall this Fall semester. Yay! No curfew. Only once-a-month room checks. No pesky out-of-campus forms to fill. Bloody awesome. 

I went "home" for the summer. Since I got sick of staying on campus and getting depressed. Well, I think I wouldn't have gotten as depressed as I would have the past summers since quite a few of my friends were staying as well...but duty calls. I was long overdue for a visit home. I've only been back there once since my freshman year and it was only for a month in Cambodia. 

I went home and taught music theory and piano for almost two months I think. Summer lasted a little over that. I think almost three months. I don't think I did a really awesome job. I just did it because my parents wanted me too. Okay. I kind of wanted to...but I really wasn't into it. I was teaching a really mixed group (gender, age, educational background, etc.). It was for two hours every Thursday. And the purpose was to get them to understand the concepts enough so they could learn and practice and play on their own when I left. I wonder how they're doing now and if any of it stuck. 

I kind of just existed and was on auto-pilot some of the time. The tension and the stress levels were really high almost all the time. I think that's the thing I'm dreading the most after college and I go back there. I really don't want to do that. But I don't know what I want to do besides that either. And again, "Jesu juva!" 

I got to go back to my first "home" for almost a month (thank you passport problem ^^) and stayed at a friend's house. It was interesting. I had culture shock. Can you believe it. Haha. It was ridiculous. I mean after all I did spend my senior year of high school there and all. But I did get it and I hated it. I should have realized it had been almost three years since I've been there and all. I sort of just existed there too. I did my online class on Programming Concepts (got a B for it) and did my projects and quizzes for it. I hung out a lot with friends. Got annoyed with a close friend's girlfriend. LOL. I wish she could just understand that he's known me for almost all of his life and all that. No need to feel insecure and get possessive. Le sigh.  I guess this is the part where I say, "C'est la vie!" Eh? And again, le sigh.

I got back on campus a week early to get acclimated to the time change and environment. I had all kinds of goals and all. I would start the semester right and get organized. Be frugal and keep track of money. Have strict discipline on myself. Get top grades on all of my classes. 
And now it's 3 weeks(-ish) to Winter Break and I have no idea how I'm going. I wonder if I'll get an above 3.5 GPA  for this semester. I mean I have kept track of my expenses and have been thrifty sometimes. I've splurged now and again. I've even kept a spreadsheet, which I've never done. But doing nothing this week, when I could've done so much...I'm now regretting it. Man do I have a procrastinating disease or what? Argh. If anything, this week has shown me what a procrastinator I am. I'm just thankful I'm not the only one, but it kind of sucks to be me right now.

I got a 6 page (min.) paper + interview, 3 short stories, and a database project due before next Friday. A test on Wednesday (I think, it could be on Monday..which is today. arghh...) A conducting final. A jury. A church Christmas musical I have to play in that I've barely worked on. A performance with the CSOYO for the a boy's choir Christmas musical in the city's premiere theater on Saturday with a rehearsal today, dress rehearsals at the theater on Wednesday and Thursday which overlaps with the dress rehearsals of the church Christmas musical. Oy vey. The things I get myself into. And here I cry, "Jesu juva!" yet again. 

And that is what I've been up to lately. ^^ 

Below is one of the pictures I had my roommate take of me for my junior recital flyers.
I mean, if I was required to do it, I'll make all the fun I can get out of it ;)

One of the pictures my roommate took of me for the junior recital

Entered a Giveaway

Dramabeans (how I love thee...I'm being serious here ;) has been chosen to be part of a BlogHer/Intel giveaway. I entered (of course). I'm a poor college student, why wouldn't I? I really hope I get chosen. I'm in need of a new laptop. My poor Acer Aspire is past its prime no matter how much I take care of it. 

For what few online friends I have left on LJ, head over to JB's post and enter as well! I'm sure you want to! ;)

I'll post more after Thanksgiving lunch with my violin teacher and her family.
*mutters don'tbeawkwarddon'tbeawkward* ;)




Whoa...I haven't posted at all since last summer?!

Can't imagine I've been traveling (mostly) all this time...seriously -.-
Hmm. Maybe I should post what happened in this hellish weekend...that would be interesting. 
But right now I still have jet lag and my head hurts. I'm just checking on stuff and trying to be active again. 
Sooo tired...

Anyway, see you soon again LJ! ^^
I promise!


Practice Break Inspiring Sayings

I'm in the middle of practice right now, but I just remembered some sayings or quotes that will help me get inspired in the future as well as now ^^. And they're all from Nodame Cantabile and from the mouth of Maestro Stresemann...well some Chiaki too. LOL!
I'll update this with more sayings as I remember and hear more.

"Every note is important. There is no useless note." - Maestro Franz von Stresemann

"You can't approach music half-heartedly, or else you can't enjoy it." - Maestro Franz von Stresemann

"Schubert seems like a really stubborn man. I'm having a hard time becoming friends with him, even though I try to talk to him a lot..." - Noda Megumi
"Is Schubert really 'stubborn'? Don't do all the talking and listen to what he has to say too! Don't approach music half-heartedly!" - Chiaki Shinichi

"For Bach, you won't be able to get back to the piece once you derail. You have to memorize the piece completely!" - Eto-sensei



I really should be in bed right now, it's 12:12 am! But I'm waiting on my chicken to cook, it's for my lunch tomorrow. LOL.
This is what happens when you're not with your mom. ^^ Do everything yourself. Aigoo.
Ah well...it's been what...almost 3 years already? Since senior year of high school and now I'm going on my junior year in university...
waaaah  *wails baby-ishly*

Right, that's over...hehe.
Practice tonight was a repetition of last night. Err...maybe a bit lower in accomplishment level.
I started late and pretty much just relearned all I did last night. Argh...so frustrating.
This is starting to get to be my practice record/journal. Haha! Well, at least I'll have an outlet.

Hmmm...tomorrow I'll be in Cinderella musical rehearsal for an hour or so, so I won't have a lot done.
And then I'll have to walk the dogs right after I get back. So probably just an hour or two.
Gotta get those darn argpeggios down! Seriously..ugghh..

Anyway, I've done catching up with Nodame Cantabile manga..still working on the anime.
I put Rosario+Vampire on hold. Not in the mood. lolz
Starting on Skip Beat, will watch the anime when I do my routine tonight. XD

I'm still stuck on the Wicked songs..which isn't good since I'm supposed to be singing Cinderella songs for the Cinderella musical (duh!^^)

I end this post with pics of my beloved Stradivarious model Carlos Lamberti Master Series violin.
Made in China, but it's waaaaaaay better than my previous Romanian and German violin. Haha! Who'd have thought?
I'd always been prejudiced against Chinese violins, especially after my experience with my first one.
My bow is a Guy Laurent. Made in China as well, and also waaaaaaaay better than my previous French Jaendel bow. It's sooo pretty and I love it to bits! So flexible! The mother of pearl on the screw tip and the frog...wow. Really wonder how they make these things. I told my teacher once that bows are like the wands in Harry Potter. rofl!
LMAO! Do I sense a pattern here? Are Asian instruments getting better than European ones? Eh?! haha!
Maybe it's just coincidence...

I still need to name it. I've had her/him (lol) for almost 2 years now...
Any ideas anyone? Maybe something Chinese or Japanese, since it originates from there...
Hmm..what's Chinese for 'hope' or 'courage'? ^^ :D

Did Good.

I did good last night! lol.

I am quite proud of myself. That was the most progress I've had in practicing for quite a while.
(results of getting into Nodame Cantabile? haha!)
Or maybe I'm more motivated because of the concerto competition or something else all together...hmm..must be the change in environment? Haha! Real house effect! Woot!
I worked on the middle part of the 3rd movement of my assigned Bach concerto (Concerto No. 1 in a minor), and I got it down! Oh yeah!
Right down to the last half-step! Hopefully my intonation conscientious violin teacher won't be able to pick on me that much in my next lesson.
Ha! Hopefully, I'll do another good job tonight. Gotta get those fast arpeggios perfect too.

So I made a couple of discoveries today. Wicked! ...Collapse )

Esther...Collapse )

Must get back to reality...
Wish me luck on practice tonight! ;)


Hello journal,^^

Haven't posted in here in a while..but I promise I will soon.
I'm dog sitting and house sitting at my violin teacher's house in Georgia, so it's gonna be awesome!
Finally! Real house! Real bed! Real bathrooms! Real everything!
And most of all...dogs!
Miss my dogs so much..Major & Susie (ugh, brothers have the worst name sense ever^^) They're German Shepherds. I'm dog sitting basset hounds. Complete opposites of GS's. Haha!
This is gonna be interesting.

Anyway...I've been getting more and more into music lately.Read more...Collapse )

So here's the rank list of Top 20 best orchestras in the world:
(wonder if I'll get to play in one someday?^^  Any seat would be so awesome!)

1. Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra, Amsterdam

2. Berlin Philharmonic (Berliner Philharmoniker)

3. Vienna Philharmonic (Wiener Philarmoniker)

4. London Symphony Orchestra

5. Chicago Symphony Orchestra

6. Bavarian Radio Symphony Orchestra

And just because...all hail Midori, Hilary Hahn, and Akiko Suwanai! They're the best ever! ^^V
Inspirations!Collapse )